He spent many years with his head in his hands
How could he be so stupid, make such evil demands?
It’s unnerving how deserving this fool really was
Behind bars he belonged, and so decided it was
Shame was his monster, his unquestioned master
Lived hell; Caused hell; Considered getting there faster
But then he found a book; don’t assume its akin
A spark; An embark on a journey within
What if he could change? A perspective so insane
It took several long months to pick up that book again
He needed this suffering for those he had wronged
It served them somehow, or so he sang his song
But fresh were ideas; What they promised: Profound
Change and serenity and shame, but unbound
In his cell was a mirror; the first time he’d looked in
Sunken, tired, lifeless, and thin
For the first time, he thought, not in shame, but reflection
Not just for others he hurt, but this harder inward direction
Feeling great pain, he mistook little had shifted
But it was the beginning; A lifetime of shame to be lifted
“I see clearly”, he said, “But how can I let go and halt?”
The wind carried the reply, “It isn’t your fault”
A product of circumstances beyond one’s control
Yet responsibility to take; Blame to release, not to dole
What if he weren’t evil, but a person under way
What if instead of self-pity, those ammends, did he say
A world deprived of him, in his limitless potential
Is a world so less rich, and one so unessential
It was work, it was pain, just to get to this point
Life is work; it means pain; but that isn’t the point
Pain is not suffering, unless we so make it
Serenity is the promise unobtainable when faken
He unlocked something within, something real and self-searching
A commitment to growth and belief in his person
He spent many years with his head in his hands
Couldn’t see the cell open, its beyond beautiful lands
Grace isn’t given, we work and honestly ask
We change ourselves, not addictions, to lay rest that which has passed
All this time, he thought, was this gift for the taking
You are worth your release from prison of self-making
Presented at the 2024 SAA Conference in Toronto